Valentine’s Day

You know, I really dislike Valentine's Day. There are all of the adult reasons to dislike it; crass commercialism, feelings of self-loathing if you aren't in a relationship, or are in a relationship that is, let's just say, less than perfect. But I think the main reason I dislike it is all the left-over from childhood stuff. You know, the whole card thing. Your mom would buy those boxes of cards and you'd have to write one out for everyone in your class. The point being that everyone would get a card from everyone else and we'd all go home feeling like all of our classmates really liked us. And liked us in equal measure. The idea sounds good in theory (equity, sharing, let's pretend that we like the weird kids), but it's chock-full of holes. Like somehow, by this simple act, the teacher could wipe out all of our feelings of inadequacy. And it just never worked. Because of course the box of cards had all different kinds of cards, funny, "romantic," friendship, which meant that some people were never going to get the kind of card that they'd hoped for. And depending on what was "in" at the moment, you'd never have enough "cool" cards.

So there were two parts to the card experience, giving and receiving. You'd sit at your kitchen table with your box of cards and a list of the other kids in your class. First, you had to break the list down between girls and boys. The girls you had to further divvy up between friends and not-friends; friends obviously getting the better cards. And if that wasn't stressful enough, then you had to think about the boys. Careful thought was required. You didn't want to overstate or understate your feelings. For obvious reasons, you wouldn't want to give a "romantic" card to a boy you didn't like who liked you. And even the ones you liked, well you still had to exercise caution. Say there was a particular boy you liked; if you weren't sure that your feelings were reciprocated, god forbid you gave him a romantic card and he gave you a "just friends" card. On the other hand, he might give you a romantic card and if you had chickened out and given him a "just friends" card, well then it was entirely possible that you had just blown your one chance at eternal love.

Well, now that we're all grown up and mature, these things never apply anymore right? We always know just the right thing to do and say, and there's never a chance at miscommunication.

So I just want to take this opportunity to mention the true meaning of Valentine's Day. OH. Wait. I think the true meaning of the day involves a Christian martyr dying a horrible death. Okay, well, then let's just forget that and fast forward a few centuries.

Happy Valentine's Day. And to everyone reading this, consider yourself getting one of the "good" cards from me.